03:57 am - [pe] he feels so far away. so incredible far. he felt closer when we weren't lovers.
today was valentines day. i wonder with whom he spend the day.
i feel cold. inside. like a frozen, empty cave. and words that go around in my mind are echoing from the walls. repeating repeating repeating themselfs.
i want him back. but it feels as if he's gone.
we were like strangers the last days. he's my love and something forbit me to reach out and touch him. is that a hint, that what we tried is just foolish madness and we will never succsed?
dear lover, i saw you the other day. in a cafe. i wanted to walk over to tell you how much i'd miss you. but i didn't. instead i bought a coffee, payed and left again. i should have talked to you. i wonder if you miss me.
i should try to get some sleep. haven't slept much the past week.
his mother is leaving again tomorrow. i should be happy, but i'm not. i can't feel any happiness. i just feel seperated from him. mood: depressed